To forgive is to accept yourself and set yourself free. It’s opening the doors to self-love and letting go of judgement. It’s the most emotional moment of your life when you come face to face with yourself. To forgive is to care for yourself and give yourself the love that you have been craving for but did not know how to find. It takes you closer to who you really are.
Forgiveness isn’t about the other person, it’s about setting yourself free. It relieves you of the negativity and the burden that you are carrying about something. When we hold on to bitterness, grudges, or betrayal, we think we are protecting ourselves. But actually we are carrying the weight of somebody else’s actions. Forgiveness is choosing to put that weight down. Does forgiving mean forgetting? How do you move on from the hurt and sorrow? Forgiveness does not mean forgetting, and it doesn’t mean condoning what was done. It simply means you refuse to stay chained to your pain anymore. You can forgive and still walk away. You can forgive and still set boundaries. You can forgive and choose never to be with the same person again if they are not good for you.
The gift of forgiveness is clarity. When you decide not to be chained to the pain or the grudges anymore, it takes you out of victim mode, makes you empowered and helps you choose what’s truly in your best interest. You are no longer chained to something that saps your energy and takes the life out of you.
Why is it important to let go of the bitterness and pain? Over a period of time when hurt festers and grows, it manifests into negativity in the soul, in the mind and eventually turns into chronic diseases in the body. If you do not heal your hurt you can carry it forward to your future relationships. Your aura gets filled with negativity and you feel bitter about your life.
The experiences we encounter in our lifetime have been pre-decided by our Soul before it took on the form of this body. The Soul chooses to go through certain experiences in order to learn the lessons it needs to know for its spiritual evolution. If someone hurts you and causes you pain, ask yourself what is your pain teaching you, learn the lesson and move on. We remain stuck in our journey when we hold grudges and biases towards other people for hurting us. People are being who they are, according to their understanding of life and their level of evolution.
Our life experiences mirror who we are being in the present moment. That’s the way our Soul learns the lessons that it has come to learn in the human body. So if you have a partner who disrespects you, chances are that you have been disrespecting yourself either in the past or the present. If you are facing financial trouble, it’s likely that you have a scarcity mindset towards money. If you have been betrayed by someone, chances are that you have been betraying yourself.
When you understand the root cause of your life’s experiences, you can let go of the hurt and bitterness that you are carrying towards the other person.
That’s when you realise that real forgiveness is letting go of all the grudges you are carrying within you about yourself. This is perhaps the most significant as you are the source of all that you experience in your life. The way we treat ourselves shapes everything we attract in life. Forgiving yourself is where real transformation begins. Forgive yourself for disrespecting yourself, forgive yourself for letting yourself down, forgive yourself for neglecting yourself and forgive yourself for sabotaging others. Heal the beliefs that hold you back and awaken the new lesson that you’re here to learn. It’s important to forgive yourself so that the soul can spiritually evolve. Forgive yourself so that you can learn to love yourself and accept yourself for who you are.
Forgiveness awakens acceptance, love and grace. It makes us kind and compassionate towards ourselves and others. We start to unburden the baggage we carry with us when we are forgiven, and when we forgive. So the next time you are faced with an unpleasant situation, go inwards. Focus on yourself and embrace the learning. It’s never about the other person. It’s always about you. Empower yourself to change your life.
Rashika Kaul is a certified Life Coach, Therapist, and Healer.
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